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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:30 pm    Post subject: Golf Gambles Reply with quote

WELCOME!
Golf Gambles
:

The Heart of a Goof
Hardcover
By P.G. Wodehouse


Quote:
More of the book.





Quote:
'What was that sharp, cracking sound I heard?' asked the Oldest Member.

'That was the vicar smashing his putter. Poor old chap, he had rotten luck all the way round, and it didn't seem to make it any better for him that he wasn't able to relieve his feelings in the ordinary way.'

'I suspected some such thing,' said the Oldest Member, 'from the look of his back as he was leaving the green. His walk was the walk of an overwrought soul."

His companion did not reply. He was breathing deeply and regularly.

'It is a moot question,' proceeded the Oldest Member, thoughtfully, 'whether the clergy, considering their peculiar position, should not be more liberally handicapped at golf than the laymen with whom they compete. I have made a close study of the game since the days of the feather ball, and I am firmly convinced that to refrain entirely from oaths during a round is almost equivalent to giving away three bisques. There are certain occasions when an oath seems to be so imperatively demanded that the strain of keeping it in must inevitably affect the ganglions or nerve-centres in such a manner as to diminish the steadiness of the swing.' (From Chester Forgets Himself, p. 95)


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From Loaded Dice:

Vanity Fair
Magazine Subscription
Editor's Letter
The Measure of the Man (or Woman)
By Graydon Carter
February, 2007


Quote:
More on the devastation inflicted on America and much of the world by Dubya.

More on the Promethean efforts required to undo it. Jefferson, it seems, inherited many of the same problems.





Quote:
Losing Streak - More on America's $3-trillion war on Iraq.

STILL MORE of Mr. Pitiful and other dubious southern gambles.


Quote:
I have always thought you could take the measure of a man by his sports manners - that is to say, the way in which he conducts himself on the playing field, or even over a game of chess or cards. Former president Bill Clinton was famous for taking a mulligan, or an extra try, on almost every shot, then playing the ball that had landed in the better spot. He essentially plays a two-man, two-ball "scramble" - but solo. A former employer of mine ensured that he won in tennis against family and underlings by always calling line shots in his own favor. And so it is with our current president, who will scratch, claw, kick, scream, move the goalposts - pretty much do anything to effect a win. He is a sore winner. And a horrible loser. (emphasis added)

... When Barbara Bush took her 13-year-old son and his best friend, Doug Hannah, to play golf at her Houston club, George would start cursing if he didn't tee off well. His mother would tell him to quit it. By the third or fourth hole he would be yelling "Fuck this" until he had ensured that his mother would send him to the car.

"It fit his needs," says Hannah. "He couldn't lose."

Once, after his mother banished him from the golf course, she turned to Hannah and declared, "That boy is going to have optical rectosis." What did that mean? "She said, 'A shitty outlook on life.'"

Even if he loses, his friends say, he doesn't lose. He'll just change the score, or change the rules, or make his opponent play until he can beat him. "If you were playing basketball and you were playing to 11 and he was down, you went to 15," says Hannah, now a Dallas insurance executive. "If he wasn't winning, he would quit. He would just walk off... It's what we called Bush Effort: If I don't like the game, I take my ball and go home. Very few people can get away with that."...

Another fast friend, Roland Betts, acknowledges that it is the same in tennis. In November 1992, Bush and Betts were in Santa Fe to host a dinner party, but they had just enough time for one set of doubles. The former Yale classmates were on opposite side of the net. "There was only one problem - my side won the first set," recalls Betts. "OK, then we're going two out of three," Bush decreed. Bush's side takes the next set. But Betts's side is winning the third set when it starts to snow. Hard, fat flakes. The catering truck pulls up. But Bush won't let anybody quit. "He's pissed. George runs his mouth constantly," says Betts indulgently. "He's making fun of your last shot, mocking you, needling you, goading you - he never shuts up!" They continued to play tennis through a driving snowstorm.

It is something of an in-joke with Bush's friends and family. "In reality we all know who won, but George wants to go further to see what happens," says an old family friend, venture capitalist and former MGM chairman Louis "Bo" Polk Jr. "George would say, 'Play that one over,' or 'I wasn't quite ready.' The overtimes are what's fun, so you make your own. When you that extra mile or tyhat extra point...you go to a whole new point ... you go to a whole new level."

Inasmuch as I'm writing this the week before Christmas, any sort of prediction is a dicey proposition, but *my guess is that Bush will double-down on Iraq. He has lost, but his past would indicate that he will figure that he can just keep the game going a little longer. (Excerpts refer to Gail Sheehy's article, The Accidental Candidate, in the magazine's October, 2000 issue, at p. 52)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From Losing Streak:

Divots
Hardcover
By P.G. Wodehouse




Quote:
"I understand and approve of your horror," said the Oldest Member, gently. "But you must bear in mind that Jenkinson's is not an ordinary case. You know and I know scores of men who have never broken a hundred and twenty in their lives, and yet contrive to be happy, useful members of society. However badly they may play, they are able to forget. But with Jenkinson it is different. He is not one of those who can take it or leave it alone. His only chance of happiness lies in complete abstinence. Jenkinson is a goof."

"A what?"

"A goof," repeated the Sage. "One of those unfortunate beings who have allowed this noblest of sports to get too great a grip upon them, who have permitted it to eat into their souls, like some malignant growth. The goof, you must understand, is not like you and me. He broods. He becomes morbid. His goofery unfits him for the battles of life. Jenkinson, for example, was once a man with a glowing future in the hay, corn, and feed business, but a constant stream of hooks, tops and slices gradually made him so diffident and mistrustful of himself, that he let opportunity after opportunity slip, with the result that other, sterner, hay, corn, and feed merchants passed him in the race. Every time he had the chance to carry through some big deal in hay, or to execute some flashing coup in corn and feed, the fatal diffidence generated by a hundred rotten rounds would undo him. I understand his bankruptcy may be expected at any moment." (From The Heart of a Goof, pgs. 16-17)


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cinderella Story
My Life in Golf
Hardcover
By Bill Murray with George Peper




Quote:
"It's a caddy shot," I say, and he knows what I mean. Pros don't go to these spots on the course without a fiancée. The shot, if you can call it that, is so ridiculous as to be invented by a cruel challenger. But this is how we passed time in the caddy yard of my youth. I've been here in my mind's eye before and have little doubt I will again.

A caddy shot was a golf shot learned in the caddy yard. The yard was outside the caddyshack and hit the recreational trifecta by serving as football field and basketball court, too. And when we were still too young to do so inside the caddyshack, we learned to curse, smoke and play cards for money in the bushes behind the ninth green. The rest of the time, we made a living. (-- pgs. 30-31)


Quote:
I've just had a Monterey red wine remembrance: Smothers, like the brothers. My first run-in with the Brothers Smothers was at the Grand Cypress Resort in Orlando. After a few years, I'd become frustrated with cooler golf. That, load cooler on golf cart, play golf while emptying the cooler. Me and the cooler would be fine till about the thirteenth hole when the wayward shots began to come in rapid succession. Sufficiently coolered, I would be unable to reverse this trend, and a storm cloud of hubris and juice-induced wagers would drown me till round's end. (-- p. 121)


The Songs and Comedy of the Smothers Brothers
Live at the Purple Onion in San Francisco
Audio CD


Quote:
Pat Paulsen for President.
He's back and still better than all the rest
.





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Last edited by editor on Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From Loaded Dice:

Bad Golf My Way
Hardcover
By Frostback Leslie Nielsen and Henry Beard
Photography by E.H.Wallop




Quote:
There's an old saying in golf, "Drive for show, putt for dough." I definitely agree that long straight drives aren't all that important (they certainly don't play a major role in my game), and there's no question in my mind that the green is where the action is. Still, I'd amend that aphorism to read, "Drive for dough, and pick up putts for dough."

Of course, I'm talking about driving the cart, not the ball, and as we'll see later in this chapter, I believe the key to the putter is using the back of it to scoop up the ball instead of fooling around with the front, or, to put it simply, the secret of putting is not putting.

Why is driving the cart so important? Well, you may not be able to control your ball, but if you control the cart, you not only have all of your equipment and all of your opponents's equipment at your fingertips (and away from his), you also have speed, mobility, cupholders, the element of surprise, a handy source of distracting noise and movement, a large and highly maneuverable obstacle, and last, but not least, right there in the middle of the steering wheel, you have the ultimate weapon - the scorecard. (From Chapter 6, Playing to Win, p. 99)


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